Saturday, January 29, 2011

Needs Help!

So, I have been playing around with a past story lately. I want to eventually finish it and hopefully send it out to get published some day. Now.. here's my dilemma. I suck at finding names for my characters. Like, srsly suck. Sometimes, but not all the time, a name will just jump out at me as if the character is begging for it to be its name. Then there are times like now, where my main character is just as confused as I am. So, I was hoping, my awesome blogger world ppls.. that you could maybe help me choose a name. Or at least give me some names you like and eventually I can pick one that fits best. I will give you a quick bio on my character and then you can go from there if you wish to help. Thank you SO much if you do!

Main Character Quick Bio

-17 years old
-Long brown hair
-Brown eyes
-Loves books and photography [most of the time has a camera with her]
-Loves music [always has her iPod buds in her ears]
-Thin, but not super skinny, more average.
-Good in school mostly because she likes school but she isn't an A+ student. More like a 85-90 average student.
-Loves the fall and winter better than summer. [isn't a fan of the heat even though she lived in LA for a few years]
-Has a grandmother who pretty much raised her till she was 12 and taught her to be a respectable person, but to also not take crap from anyone.

I think that is a pretty decent quick bio. If you do want to help and need more info just write it on here and I will answer the best I can. Thanks again for those who help me!

Saturday, January 22, 2011


I have to say this diet is extremely boring.

I don't know how exciting any other diet really could be, but this one is by far the most boring I have ever been on. I follow the rules [minus my mental breakdown for a hot minute the other day and I kinda sorta ish cheated on my diet.. bad I know] and I even move my butt around a tad more then I used to. Exercise is my next goal. I need to have some sort of routine. I need to start off so slow, unfortunately. But most of all I need to get some kind of excitement in this damn diet! If not, then I will be sad to admit this but.. I will be forced to leave it and go onto another one. Which will totally suck because I don't do well with diets as it is, and then to stop one to start another will be even worse then starting the first!

Anyway, I haven't lost anything yet. At least I don't think I did. I don't want to look at a scale until I notice a change. Even the slightest of changes. Until then... scales are off limits. So maybe by the next diet entry I will notice a small change if any at all.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

thirty days, thirty letters

Back in June I was on a blog of an author I love [Michelle Zink] and I noticed this fun challenge that could help not only writers but just anyone who would like to get a few things off their chests.Click here for more info. I didn't do the challenge like I wanted to but I would like to give myself a second chance. I suggest to try this out!

The rules are simple - write one letter every day for thirty days straight without skipping or swapping the themes around. Alix, whom Michelle got this challenge from, has told her that it’s hard to have writer’s block when doing this challenge!

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

and the award goes to...

My amazingly awesome muse Amber at Adventures in Amberland gave me my very first and unexpected award. Now I haven't been in the whole blog thing like everyone else cause, well basically my life isn't that exciting for the world to want to see. So I am extremely excited about someone taking notice and liking what they see enough to give me an award.

There are 4 duties to perform to accept this award:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

1 - I became a mother at the age of 20 and even though I'm 30 years old and have 3 children, I still feel like I did when I was 20. Sometimes even how I felt when I was 18-19. Not so much physically but mentally. Not that I'm immature, because even at that age I was no where near. I sometimes look at older people and hope that someday I get to be that age, but wonder if I will still feel young inside. I sure as hell hope so.

2 - My imagination doesn't have a cool down period. It is going as much as the important things in my life. Maybe that's why I have a headache everyday. I have too much information processing through my head. Between thinking about my kids, bills, our future and the imaginary gnomes that live across the street from my house, my mind doesn't seem to rest.

3 - I'm a procrastinator. I hate myself for it and scold myself daily. But yet, here I am writing on here instead of finishing the laundry or reading my book. I don't repeat the typical "I'll do it later" because.. well... I'll probably forget to do whatever "it" is later as well.

4 - I want a machine built to plug into my brain so that my brain can feed all the information to every story I have every written or will write into it. I bet you I will have not only one but many finished books. Because the short road from brain-to-fingers seems to have some glitches.

5 - Music is just as important to me as the blood that courses through my veins. If I do not listen to music everyday I will literally be a bitch. I will lash out and just be unpleasant to be around. So.. I make sure that music is on at all times. To help others of course.

6 - I have an obsessive compulsive personality. I can thank my dear "mother" for that. It's not bad, thank God. But when I become hooked on something, it consumes my mind. Even my dreams. Which makes me wake up with a headache. [I'm a mess].

7 - The one and only thing I want for myself, is a library. One of those ones that you have to climb those fun movable ladders to get to the top books. I want it to be all dark wood and old looking. ANTIQUE! That's the word. I want it to have two over sized floor to ceiling windows with those heavy drapes in a fashionable dark color. I think about that room almost everyday in perfect detail.
Maybe someday...

Now onto the bloggers that I have newly - ish discovered.[ok, some aren't new at all :P but all are worthy!]

1. Heather @ Heather's Odyssey
2. Rachel @ Parajunkee
3. Annie @ With Sprinkles on Top
4. Rochelle @ Mascara Envy
5. Amber @ Adventures In Amberland
6. Nichelle @ Vintage Wanna Bee
7. MadSteamPunkery
8. Monica and Star @ The Bibliophilic Book Blog
9. Katie @ Sophistikatied Reviews
10. Cynthia @ A Blog About Nothing
11. The Book Vixen
12. Carolyn @ Book Chick City
13. Kari @ A Mothers Life
14. aobibliosphere
15. I Have A Secret

The last one is an interesting blog I came across a few nights ago. Some stories are very sad, some funny. But I think that the creators really did a wonderful thing by introducing this blog to people.

DIET DAY 1 - the next day...

This should have been posted yesterday, but I forgot.

I would like to try to monitor my progress of my diet. Now I don't believe in crash diets. I think that is just pure torture. I do believe in letting pills help [need to find one that is right for me] and I completely agree that exercise is key. Unfortunately as of right now exercise is kind of minimal for me. I walk an ok amount everyday but I need to do more.

As of now I am going on the Special K diet which worked for me before. Also, I'm cutting out soda and butter. Even though I don't use butter anyway, I'm making sure I'm cutting it out completely. I believe that a few simple changes in my diet will help me slowly get into eating even better. No ice cream which is a major buzz kill on my life. But its a must. No sweets at all actually. Oh, well minus chocolate of course. I refuse to be that evil! So my first day on my diet was way way easier then I had expected. I guess I really don't eat that much to start because I am really full off of one bowl of cereal. By dinner I wasn't even that hungry. Before I start to completely ramble on about this simple diet, I'm going to make a list for myself.

- Special K bowl for breakfast
- Special K bowl for lunch
- Dinner of my choice 

Yes the capital letters is me yelling.. I need to get my point across to myself. I bet within a month all the things I am cutting out of my life wont matter as much anymore. So.. this basic simple diet that I have been on before should start the weight loss process. Then, hopefully I will either go back to the gym or get my machine thingy that I want. Which would be awesome cause then I wont have to look at all the skinny people at the gym and feel even worse. Alright, enough with my rambles. The diet is set.. its on like donkey kong! Wish me luck!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

2011 New Years Resolutions...

I have never went past writing a resolution down on paper before. I say I will.. but I never do. This year I want to make sure I do. I want to finish every goal at least by January 1, 2012. I really don’t think I’m asking much of myself. I need to get off my lazy ass[<- oops. See resolution #6] and make things better. Not only for me, but for my children most importantly. If I am happier with myself, then I can be a better mother. I’m told everyday I’m a great mother, but I know I can be so much more…

Here is my list of my 2011 Resolutions -

1. Lose ALL the extra weight I gained from Joseph. - Now this is a HUGE part of my depression. I have never been this heavy in my life. I hate how I look and how I feel and all it does is make me upset. If I was to even lose half the weight I gained from when I had my son I would be the happiest person in the world. This is a MUST. Now in this goal there is a branch of goals. 1. Getting the weight off and keeping it off. 2. Taking care of my body better. 3. Eating better and more exercise.

2. Finish at least ONE of my manuscripts. - This is an extremely important SELF goal. I truly need to get myself into the writing mode again and hit it full force. Once I get a good routine I should be able to bang out at least a chapter a week. That may not sound like a lot but when you go from never writing anymore to that amount, it’s a HUGE step.

3. Write Everyday. Even if it is one sentence to any story, I must write. At my writing class the teacher said to write everyday even if it was just a shopping list, or a random note to someone in the house. But, to me that doesn’t help. I do that anyway. I need to write everyday in some story format. No matter what… DON’T FORGET TO WRITE!

4. Once upon a time I had patience of a saint. Or at least something close. After having my son patience is nothing but a mere memory of a better time. I hate myself for it. I would love to know how it feels to not freak out over every stupid little thing. Or even important things. There is really no reason for it. My kids are kids that are spoiled by their grandmother. I need to remember that I’m in control. When I realize that again I think my children will too. Then, the once loved high tolerance in the patient department will show itself again. But this is a major WIP.

5. I do what every other parent does when it comes to their school children. I follow what’s going on in their school and classes. I do their home work and projects with them. I read to them and help them study the best my patience allows me. But I know that I can help and push much more. I don’t want to be one of “those” parents where I burn my children down to the ground with school. But I know how smart they are and how much potential they have. If me helping more then usual makes them only a 65 average student, then so be it. At least I know that we both tried our hardest.

6. I have the mouth of a truck driver! I curse more then I even realize I do and I absolutely hate it! HATE IT! I find it completely disgusting and irritating and I just want to stop. I’m an adult and with that comes the privilege of being able to shoot out a curse word here and there. But sometimes I find myself cursing a bit to much for my taste. Only when I’m annoyed though. I don’t use an offensive word unless I feel I’m given reason. Even when I try not to. Like I said… I HATE IT! I preach to my kids that cursing is wrong, yet here I am letting the F-word slip out. There’s no excuse for this. I need and want very much to stop. And.. so far.. I have been doing pretty good. As a matter of fact I let the F-bomb slip out the other day and my kids looked at me like my head just exploded. My oldest said, “You were doing very good..” I shook my head in disgust and said, “Mommy is working on this very very hard.” They smiled and continued playing. I have to say, they are very understanding and supportive children.

7. I want  - no NEED to go back to work. Not only for the money but for my own sanity. I have been stuck in my house with my kids - doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and dealing with in-laws more then a normal person should ever have to. [seven years & one month]. My son starts school full time come September. I can work from 8:30-2:30 Monday through Friday. That’s six hours a day for 5 days. 30 whole hours a week doing something other then motherly duties. I could cry right now just thinking about how amazing that will be. My goal is to try very very hard to get a job at Barnes and Noble. It would be heaven sent if I did. I only live about 10 minutes give or take from BN. Which is in the vicinity of my kids school. So for any reason I would be able to get to them in no time at all. Within this goal of being out in the adult world again comes another very important goal. Saving. I need to start saving some money. I need a new [new to me] car. I also need a cell phone. Ok no I don’t need one. But I want one dammit! I miss mine :(. And most importantly, I need to start saving to help with us getting the heck out of NY. Born and raised here, I think its time to put this place behind me. Very very far behind me.

So, looking up at my 2011 Resolutions, it seem like an awful lot of words. But technically, they are all just things that I should have been doing all along. 2011 is for me and my family. If I’m happier, my family is happier and my life will become exactly what I always wanted it to be.

So, what’s your New Years Resolutions for 2011?

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