Sunday, December 12, 2010

so it begins... again.

My life has been kinda out of control the past two years. Between no longer talking to my mother [which is way too depressing and stressing to get into] then my sons accident [it was the worst thing that has ever happened and I pray to be the worst thing that ever happens to him] I haven't had much time for me. My time to myself was very important, not only for my sanity but also for my future as a published writer. If I ever want to be a published writer then I have to write.

That hasn't been the case the past two years. Give or take a month or two.

I have tried so many times to get myself in order again. Writing a little here and there. Reading a few books. Talking to old friends and reuniting with my wonderful and very needed muse/great friend. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get myself where I needed to be. The best way to explain it is, I can't seem to collect myself. Writing used to be fun and easy to me. Now it seems like it may be a job or a chore more then my only happiness within myself.

Depressing as that is I can't give up on myself. I have to fight through this horrible feeling that defeated me. I need to push past feeling sorry for myself and stand more taller [not literally.. I'm already 5'9"] and feel more secure within myself again.I don't want to lose the one thing I have always loved. I don't want to no longer find words interesting. That's one of my biggest fears. But how can one lose interest in the only thing they ever felt like themselves around? I guess anything is possible.


  1. Dear Cheryl,

    I have full faith you can get through this, and accomplish all those things we know how to rant the best at. 2011 is yours!!

    Love Your Fellow Muse, Drama Mama, and Sick & Twisted Sister,

  2. ^_^ I heart you somethin awful my dear! As you have faith in me I have faith in you as well. 2011 isn't only mine chick.. it's yours too! I haven't been this motivated in a long time.. lets hope this means something awesome.

  3. hey cheryl! i just noticed your name on my bloggie! i just wanted to thank you for popping by.

    i KNOW that 2011 will be a year of change for you. it sounds like you have the motivation to push through those hard times... and that's half the battle! your determination to overcome the trials that have been thrown in front of you will help you. but, know that we can't fight our battles alone. when i have those feelings of "overwhelmedness" i run to this verse.
    matthew 11:28
    come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest.


  4. Thank you so much for commenting and giving such wonderful advice [I need it more then I even know]. I do have the motivation and I hope that I don't give up on myself. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your blog. I hope you have an amazing day!


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